Last week, I talked about how our words are driven by what is in our hearts. Because of that, we need to pay attention to what is going on internally and ask God to show us where we need His help.

But what do we do when we know our words need to change? How do we pause and think before we speak?

We could walk around with duct tape covering our mouth all the time, but that’s not realistic (and probably painful!).  Instead, we can turn to God’s Word, surrender our speech to Him, and ask Him to change our words.

When I Needed God to Change My Anger

Years ago, when I was struggling with anger, I found a practical way to use Scripture to ground me when I started to feel frustrated or like I was going to lose my temper.

Based on something I read, I printed pages and pages of Scriptures about anger. I would read those verses and pray for God to change my heart and help me live out what His Word said.

And you know what? He did.

Not overnight. Not perfectly. But God used His Word to change my heart and how I responded to those around me.

Scripture Can Change the Way We Speak

We can do the same thing when we struggle with our words.

Controlling our tongue isn’t easy. These days, it seems easier than ever to say whatever we want and move on. More than once, I’ve cringed when I’ve heard someone—usually myself—say, “I don’t care what they think,” right before saying something we probably shouldn’t.

But as followers of Christ, we need to care about what God thinks.

We speak thousands of words every day. That’s plenty of opportunities to stick our foot in our mouth. But it also means there are plenty of opportunities to get it right.

Here are three scriptures I have returned to over and over as God has worked on bringing my words into alignment with The Word.

1. Be Quick to Listen and Slow to Speak

James 1:19

My dear brothers and sisters, understand this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger.

If we’ve ever questioned whether we need to talk less and listen more, here is our wake-up call.

James gives his brothers and sisters in Christ three instructions: be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger.

We can’t be quick to listen if we’re doing all the talking.

It’s easy to feel like we must hurry and get our words out before someone else does. I’ve been accused of “verbal vomiting” more than once.

But James tells us to do just the opposite.

Be the first one willing to get quiet and listen to what the other person is saying. We don’t need to rush to defend ourselves, explain ourselves, or give our opinion.

That small pause may be exactly what keeps us from saying something we regret.

Father, help me be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. This is hard for me, but I want to think before I speak and honor You with my words. Amen.

2. Choose What You Allow Your Mind to Dwell On

Philippians 4:8

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable—if there is any moral excellence and if there is anything praiseworthy—dwell on these things.

I have found this Scripture so helpful because when I think about these things, I’m less likely to dwell on the angry or unkind things I really want to say.

Our minds, hearts, and words are connected.

When we focus our minds on what is true, honorable, and lovely, it changes how we see the person in front of us. Instead of viewing them only through our frustration, we can remember that they are made in God’s image.

That doesn’t mean difficult situations suddenly become easy. It means we can take time to think before we speak, even when we’re frustrated.

Pause. Listen. Ask God to help you focus on what is good instead of letting frustration control your words.

Father, it isn’t always easy to think about good things in this world. I can find plenty of temptations and frustrations just by scrolling through social media. Help me clear my mind and focus on what is true and honorable rather than dwelling on the negative and saying something I will regret. Amen.

3. Consider Others More Important Than Yourself

Philippians 2:3

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves.

Paul tells us to consider others as more important than ourselves. And remember, he was writing this letter from prison!

I can struggle with this one too. But when I put it into practice, it changes how I respond.

When I pause and think about this Scripture, I’m reminded that insisting on having my way or saying whatever I want—especially when my words aren’t helpful or may be hurtful—makes the situation about me.

And yet, Paul tells us to do just the opposite.

Consider the other person more important than yourself.

That doesn’t mean our thoughts and feelings don’t matter. But it does mean we need to consider the person on the receiving end of our words.

Am I more concerned about getting my point across than showing love to the other person?

When we approach our conversations with humility, we leave less room for selfishness and more room for love. As God continues to work in our hearts, our words can begin to reflect His Word.

Father, I find it easy to be self-centered and do and say what I want. Help me change that. I want to see the people around me and treat them as more important than myself. Help me pause before I speak and enter conversations with humility, remembering that the person in front of me matters to You. Amen.

Learning to Pause Before We Speak

This week, choose one of these Scriptures and write it down. Put it somewhere you’ll see it often. Read it, pray through it, and ask God to help you put it into practice.

Learning to pause before we respond takes time. But the more we hold on to Scripture and ask God to help us, the more we learn to control our tongues and change our attitudes.

The more God’s Word lives in us, the more Christlike we become in our walk and our talk.

So, pause before you respond. Think before you speak. And bring glory to Jesus in all that you say and do.